Check in the Bank
One day I was at work. I was grading a garage, and the concrete trucks were already in the driveway getting ready to pour.
That morning before I left, I had asked Cheryl to make sure the check I had received got to the bank. I was paying a subcontractor and had to transfer money so the check would clear. I told her it needed to be done by eleven o’clock. The subcontractor was going to the bank at eleven to cash the check, and he had to leave town. I had made a commitment to him and was even advancing him some money.
At 10:30, the phone rang. It was Cheryl. She said, “You’ve got to come home right now. It’s amazing. There’s a squirrel in the backyard hanging upside down from a wire and swinging. He’s trying to figure out how to jump onto the bird feeder.”
I explained that I couldn’t. The concrete truck was in the driveway, and we were in the middle of the pour. She was disappointed, but she understood.
Before hanging up, I asked, “Is the check in the bank yet?”
“No, not yet,” she said, “but I’m going to get my makeup on and go right now.”
At that moment, my frustration grew. The check had to be there by eleven o’clock. I now had to call the subcontractor. He had to delay leaving town or whatever he had planned. The entire plan was suddenly in jeopardy.
I went back to working with the concrete trucks. The day went on. Nothing catastrophic occurred. The plan simply had to be altered. But throughout the day, I was frustrated and angry.
As I worked, I wrestled with the Lord about it. I prayed about it. I replayed the phone call in my mind. My frustration had been obvious over the phone. We had not hung up in anger, but she knew I was upset. She was still going to the bank.
And it was then that the Lord spoke to my heart: “This is how I craft her personality. She is my child. You’re just her husband. Leave it alone.”
At that moment, I understood something very important.
Cheryl had a dramatically different personality from mine. There was nothing wrong with it whatsoever. I called it childlike—not in a degrading way, but in amazement of how she viewed the world through the eyes of a child.
In truth, I was envious. I was not brought up that way.
Somehow, those two personalities should have balanced each other out and blessed each other’s lives. But at that time, I did not have the wisdom I have now. I did not carry the wound of a divorce yet. If I had, maybe I would have understood more. Maybe I could have bridged that gap.
I say this for a reason.
Two personalities can exist. They can complement each other. It is not that we were opposites. We were equally yoked. We believed in the Lord. We cared deeply. We were two kind people. We helped others. We did many good things together.
We simply did not know how to bridge the gap in our personalities.
There is a companion workbook for this story. Open the workbook (PDF).