Precious Moments
Read the story first: Precious Moments.
Nugget of Wisdom
You can earn a place in someone’s life. You cannot collect on it.
SOP
Sit facing each other. If comfortable, hold hands. Close your eyes and remove distractions. Let your thoughts go to a moment that was promised to you and then taken back, or a moment you promised to someone and took back yourself. A wedding you were not asked to stand in. A phone call that stopped coming. A grandchild who quit calling you Grandpa. Or the other side of it, a time you shut a door on somebody who had earned the right to walk through it. Focus on the feeling of that moment, not the facts. After reflecting, share your story with each other. When finished, come together as a group and talk about what stood out.
Questions
- What was the moment you had already painted in your mind, and when did you find out the picture was not going to happen?
- When it was taken back, did you argue, go quiet, or keep loving? Which one did the other person actually need from you?
- As you listened to your partner, did you hear bitterness or did you hear love? Tell them which one, gently.
- Is there somebody whose story you are trying to write for them right now? A child, a grandchild, a spouse?
- Is there a door you have shut on someone who earned the right to walk through it?
Closing Reflection
I sat on that porch and painted the whole wedding in my head before she ever finished the song. That was my mistake, and I would make it again, because that is what love does. The lesson is not to stop hoping. The lesson is what you do when the hope goes away. I did not fight her. I did not stop loving her. Both of those were decisions, and I had to make them more than once. You will too.
Mission for the Week
Together, find the song. Every couple has one, and if you don’t, pick one this week. Sit down, put it on, and do not talk until it is over. Then each of you tell the other one moment you are still hoping for. Not a complaint, but a hope.
Then, before the week is out, go find the person in your life who shut a door on you and do one kind thing for them. Not to reopen the door. Just to keep your own heart from turning bitter. It can be a text, a plate of food, a birthday card two months early. They do not have to know why. You will.
Enjoy the song. It is my prayer that the two of you learn to hold a hope in one hand and a person in the other, and that you never let go of the person to keep the hope.
Drafted for review — not yet approved by Ron.