The 80/20 Rule
Read the story first: The 80/20 Rule.
Nugget of Wisdom
The ice-cream truck does not wait for the row to be finished. It only comes at three.
SOP
This one is a parable, and it is not about any one person, so do not spend the evening deciding who the pony is. Sit facing each other. If comfortable, hold hands. Share with your partner a time you did not get the ice cream. A reward you lost because the work was not done, and who you blamed for it. Then a time you finished the row and the truck came. Both. Then, as a class, compare how the two felt.
Questions
- When you were the little girl sitting in the garage with the Barbie dolls, who did you blame when the truck went by?
- In your home, who finishes the row and who dances in the grass? Is it always the same one?
- Does the mule in your house ever let the pony pull, or does he take the hoe back because it is faster to do it himself?
- Where have you built a stronghold around your position on this and defended it? What is the wall made of?
- What would it look like this week for the pony to step up beside the mule for one row?
Closing Reflection
I lean toward finishing the row. My whole life shaped me that way, and I have seen the damage on the other side too, in children raised with no discipline at all. Somewhere between those two worlds is a balance every family has to find, and I do not have the wisdom to hand you yours. What I do know is this. Strongholds get built fast and torn down slow. Look for the bridge that brings you together. Do not draw a line in the sand.
Mission for the Week
Plant something. A row of anything: beets, beans, a pot of herbs on the windowsill if that is all you have room for. Do it together, and before you start, agree on the reward. Ice cream, a drive, a movie, a nap. Set a time it has to be done by.
Then work the row, and see who reaches for the hoe and who reaches for the dolls. Do not lecture. When the time comes, either the row is done or it is not. Either way, go get the ice cream together and talk about it in the truck.
If you have children or grandchildren, run it again with them. Let them earn the truck. Let them miss it once, too. That is how they learn the truck does not wait.
Do not rush this one. The balance between the row and the grass is different in every house, and the only way to find yours is together, at the same table, instead of from opposite sides of a wall.
Drafted for review — not yet approved by Ron.