Before You Begin
This workbook started as something I was writing for my granddaughters. Along the way, I realized it was becoming something else. It became an operator’s manual—for me.
If I had this years ago, and if I had gone through it with my wife, I believe with all my heart our marriage might have turned out differently. Not because either of us were wrong, but because we were different. We didn’t understand each other’s operating systems.
That’s what this is about. Understanding how the other person thinks, feels, reacts, and processes life. And more importantly, learning how to care for that.
No one can force you to invest in a relationship. That has to come from you. You can read every word in this workbook, agree with it, and walk away unchanged. That choice will always be yours. But if you choose to commit to this process—really commit—it can change your relationship. Even a good one can become better. And in some cases, it can change the entire direction of a life.
Now I need to say something clearly. These are not suggestions. They are not “nice ideas.” I say this with a smile, but I also mean it—raise your right hand, put it on the Bible. I’m joking… but I’m not. When you commit to each other, you owe this effort to each other.
Think of this as a kind of civilian boot camp. Nobody’s going to yell at you. Nobody’s going to make you drop and give me fifty. But there is discipline here. There is intention. Sometimes I’ll use the word “mission” instead of “exercise.” That’s on purpose. An exercise is optional. A mission is something you carry out.
In the Marine Corps, you stand on yellow footprints the day you begin. It’s a line in the sand. A decision has been made. You’re not the same person stepping off those footprints as you were stepping onto them. That’s what I’m asking you to do here. Step onto the yellow footprints—not physically, but mentally, emotionally, and in your commitment to each other.
This workbook is designed to be done one story per week. There are about 45 of them. That’s not by accident. This is not something you cram into a weekend. These habits, these ways of thinking, these ways of caring for each other—they take time to build. You can read the stories as much as you like. Share them, talk about them, enjoy them. But when it comes to the workbook, slow down. One story. One week. Do the mission. Because this only works if you do it.
Some of my stories come from a difficult childhood. Yours don’t have to. That’s not the point. The point is honesty. The point is sharing real feelings and real experiences so the person across from you can begin to understand you. You may tell a story where you faced fear alone. Someone else may tell a story where they were comforted and protected. That doesn’t make one better than the other. It simply means your personalities were shaped differently. That’s what we’re learning here—how those differences were formed, and how to care for each other because of them.
If you do this—if you really do this—you will start to see changes. Not overnight. Not dramatically. But steadily. Quietly. And those changes will begin to build something stronger than what you have today.
So take a breath. Look at each other. And decide—are we just going to read this… or are we going to live it. Now… drop and give me 20. No, just kidding. But seriously—let’s get to work.
May God guide us during this process. We lift this up to Him, and with all of our hearts, we choose to be better mates, better partners, better people in our relationships. May He guide those who read this book, protect them, and bring them through this journey—not as United States Marines, but as men and women dedicating their lives to Him and caring deeply for each other.