Amputee

The Book of Ron · 44 of 48 · 3 minute read

Divorce is not illegal. The Lord allows it to take place and even gives reasons why it may happen. But wisdom still prevails. Scripture tells us clearly that God detests divorce, and there are good reasons for that.

When two people marry and truly love one another, they begin the process of becoming one. Biblically, that means something deeper than most people realize. It means you begin crucifying parts of yourself so that two lives can become one life together.

You no longer belong only to yourself.

You belong to each other.

When both people walk faithfully in that path, the blessings can be extraordinary—spiritually, emotionally, and physically. That is the way the Lord designed it. Seeking that path is one of the wisest things two people can ever do.

But it is not an easy path.

There are dangers and perils along the way. As two people move toward becoming one, the enemy will constantly attempt to divide what God intended to unite. Sometimes those attacks are obvious. Other times they are subtle and deceptive.

At times the enemy may even convince a couple that separation or divorce is easier than continuing the struggle to stay together.

Now there are rational reasons why divorce sometimes occurs. I will not try to list them here. But many times what appears to be truth is really smoke, fog, and mirrors used by the enemy to weaken and eventually destroy what once was strong.

I do know this.

If two people have truly become one, separating from that union creates a wound that takes time to heal.

The only way I know how to describe it is this. It is like learning to function as an amputee.

Imagine someone who has lost an arm or a leg in combat. Suddenly their life is completely different. They wake up each day in pain, struggling through therapy, learning to live life in ways they never anticipated.

The loss of a spouse through divorce can feel very similar.

Something that was once part of you is suddenly gone.

The life you once shared, the routines, the hopes, the future you imagined together—all of it changes. You must learn how to move forward with a part of yourself missing.

Sometimes that missing part was the very thing that nourished the people around you. It may have been the part that gave your grandchildren joy, the quiet happiness you shared together, or the comfort of knowing someone walked beside you each day.

When two people become one, they do so for a purpose.

Before anyone chooses to separate and remove that part of their life, the consequences should be weighed very carefully.

But the truth is, those consequences can never truly be weighed.

No one can foresee how deep the pain may run. No one knows the struggles that may follow. The road after separation is often far more difficult than anyone imagined when they first considered it.

Because once the separation happens, both people must learn how to walk forward again—different than they ever expected.

When Marriage Becomes a Battlefield

so both of those chapters stay together when you start organizing the book.

There is a companion workbook for this story. Open the workbook (PDF).